http://bullshito.net/ Let me see if I got this right…..
· – IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.
· – IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.
· – IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.
· – IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.
· – IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.
· – IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.
· – IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.
· – IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET…………………………
1-A JOB
2 – A DRIVERS LICENSE,
3 – SOCIAL SECURITY CARD,
4 – WELFARE,
5 – FOOD STAMPS,
6 – CREDIT CARDS,
7 – SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE,
8 – FREE EDUCATION,
9 – FREE HEALTH CARE,
10 – A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON ,
11 – BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE,
12 – AND THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY’S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH RESPECT.
I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE
……………………………………
I HAD A FIRM GRASP ON THE SITUATION…I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT IN THE YEAR 2012..
HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
(1).Any use of the phrase:’Press 1 for English’ is immediately banned… English is the official language; speak it or wait outside of our borders until you can.
(2).We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country….America will allow NO imports, and we’ll do no exports.. We will use the ‘Wal-Mart ’s policy, ‘If we ain’t got it, you don’t need it.’We’ll make it here and sell it here!
(3). When imports are allowed,there will be a 100% import tax on it coming in here.
(4).All retired military personnel will be required to man one of the many observation towers located on the southern border of the United States (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5).Social Security will immediately return to its original state.If you didn’t put nuttin in, you ain’t gettin nuttin out.Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it.
(6). Welfare.–Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week, the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs,and passing grades.
(7).ProfessionalAthletes — Steroids?The FIRST time you check positive you’re banned from sports … for life.
(8).One export of ours will be allowed:wheat; because the world needs to eat.However, a bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(9).All foreign aid,using American taxpayer money, will immediately cease and the saved money will help to pay off the national debt and,ultimately, lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world,we’ll ask The American People if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision as to whether,or not,it’s a worthy cause.
(10).The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.
(11).The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.
My apology is offered if I’ve stepped on anyone’s toes …. nevertheless….
Sincerely, BillCosby
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